Under-trained and It's OK

As I'm sitting here staring at piles of boxes that need to be unpacked and procrastinating taking that first step, it's only completely logical that I just ignore it for a little bit longer and do something else -- like update a blog.  I've been traveling to Dallas and LA, working longer hours than I expected, packing and slowly moving into Nick's place, painting his house, finalizing wedding vendors, showing my house, screening tenants, painting my house, writing my first lease, etc.  I just said goodbye to the movers about an hour ago. 

This weekend is Team In Training's Wildflower Training Weekend.  I wish I could have gone down to Lake San Antonio to volunteer and pay it forward.  But with so much happening, I couldn't justify taking the day off work and the 6 hour round trip effort.  However, since Nick is a coach, he has to be there.  He left after the movers finished up and I'll be tackling the boxes over the next 2.5 days with a little help from some Ironteam-mates who'd rather not be camping this weekend either (it's supposed to rain and we had enough mud last year for our lifetime).    


I've been straddling two households for two years.  I wasn't planning to move in with Nick this early, but I had enough of hauling back and forth clothes, a trainer, bike, groceries, and two laptops.  Professionally, I felt like I was losing productivity with having to start/stop work to avoid traffic patterns.  Plus, the 680 commute seems to have worsened over the past 12 months and was creating stress I didn't want/need.  And, I was tired of having the bathing suit, but not the cap and goggles, the training bike, but not the training wheel, the heart rate strap, but not the watch, etc.  I am already feeling so complete again now that 97% of my possessions are at least under the same roof (I even brought home the bag I kept stored at the hotel in LA).  


There's only 24 hours in a day and I can't "make time."  I can only spend it.  And, I've been spending it on getting some things in order and "closing some chapters" as my coach called it, rather than training.  Next weekend, I am going to be that person that I never wanted to be and I'm going to show up for a race under-trained.  I wasn't ever intending any sort of personal best for this race.  And, I don't regret the order of my priorities over the past 3 months.  If I had known last July, when I signed up for Lavaman, how much I had going on this year, I probably would not have signed up.  I thought about foregoing the race, and if it was a local race, I probably would.  But it's a destination/vacation -- we are already going to be there and it's paid for.


My swim time will be a little slower since it's salt water, without a wetsuit, and I've barely been in the pool.  The bike will be fine, but it's a rented bike.  I won't have my aeros and it's heavier since it's not all carbon.  And, if I have to walk 6.2 miles, then that is completely ok with me.  My only goal is to feel giddy looking at all the fish swimming below me, read the coral graffiti on the lava along the Queen K, and not get discouraged.