In Memory of Marilyn

Today is the first anniversary of Marilyn's passing, so today's post is a tribute to her, my honoree in this journey.

I first met Marilyn in June of 2007.  It was my second or third day of my first consulting job and she was my client, and she practically waltzed into the room.  She was full of personality and I had already learned we were going to be working very closely together for the next year and a half.  I quickly made a mental note that I hoped I could be as "young" as her when I was 62 years old.  

Marilyn was full of sparkle, and glitter, and color.  She was artistic.  She was wise.  She loved jazz and to dance.  She always had cosmos ready to make when I came over.  She had a koi pond and a green thumb.  And, best of all, she had a big claw foot bathtub in her backyard!  She would literally take bubble baths in her backyard so she could enjoy the beauty of her plants and flowers.  And, while her backyard was fairly concealed from the neighbors, she had no qualms about just being out there in the open air. :)

She called herself the Jewish Mother, always making sure everyone was taken care of.  Her husband passed away from cancer when she was in her 20s and she raised two little boys as a single mother.  From her grief, she put herself through school at San Jose State as an adult, where she also befriended a group of young women.  She was brave.    

She quickly took me under her wing.  She saw that I was the only female on the IT team with twelve men, most of them engineers/developers -- cramped in a conference room ten hours a day, four days a week.  Since she worked remotely, she would often invite me to go work at her house to get me out of the room.  She taught me so much professionally and personally.  She became my confidante when my 10 year relationship ended.   She introduced me to some of the teachings of The Secret like vision boards and gratitude journals (which I do think help, if you are consistent).  She taught me never to settle for "ok."  And, if there was one thing I could take away from my relationship with her, it was her reminding me that I deserved someone who got the wind knocked out of him, if he ever imagined his life without me.  

We also talked a lot about our struggles with weight and our bodies.  One time she said to me, "Well, I just decided to accept it.  If I ever get sick, I'll be glad I have this extra cushion."  The world works in mysterious ways.  She had a second home in Florida and would spend a few months there out of the year.  She told me that she started swimming and riding her bike around the neighborhood and the weight was falling off.  When she came back from Florida, the weight continued to fall off and that is when she went to the doctor and learned she had a rare form of leukemia (CMML).  

After she was diagnosed, I would get together with her for lunch every couple of months when she wasn't undergoing treatment or in Florida.  On my last visit I brought her curry because a former co-worker of ours had sent an article about how curry had healing benefits.  She said she would try anything.  She looked great and liked to make fun of her new "bird legs."  She was tired and spent most of the visit lying down, but her spirits were good.  I never expected to be at her funeral three weeks later.  

What I've learned about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is that the monies raised really are going toward funding research that is discovering new medications to help save lives.  And, maybe, just maybe, my efforts at fundraising and raising awareness of LLS will help another 30-something trying to find her way in the world, not lose a very wonderful mentor and friend that was helping clear the path.  

Dec 23, 1942 - July 8, 2010